The Best Steam Chat Ever
by 5UNF1OWER
Summary: The best Steam chat Ever had


I AM THE POOTIS MAN: WLOOOOOOOOOOOO

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: YOUR TIME IS UP, MY TIME IS NOW

YOU CAN'T SEE ME, MY TIME IS NOW

IT'S THE FRANCHISE, BOY I'M SHININ' NOW

YOU CAN'T SEE ME, MY TIME IS NOW

Sunflower: ...

Sunflower: ?

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: did i startle you :3

Sunflower: no

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: god damn it

Sunflower: just confused me

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: it's John Cena

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: that's the first 4 lines of his theme song

Sunflower: I know

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: i was attempting to sp00k you

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: IN CASE YOU FORGOT OR FELL OFF I'M STILL HOT - KNOCK YOUR SHELL OFF

MY MONEY STACK FAT PLUS I CAN'T TURN THE SWELL OFF

THE FRANCHISE, DOIN' BIG BID'NESS, I LIVE THIS

IT'S AUTOMATIC I WIN THIS - OH YOU HEAR THOSE HORNS, YOU FINISHED

Sunflower: I can't sp00kified

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: well shit.

Sunflower: You shit in a well?

Sunflower: Disgusting

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: no

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: i shit wells out

Sunflower: oh

Sunflower: does it hurt

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: not really

Sunflower: How big is your ass

Sunflower: and what is the size of the wells

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: the wells are wells that ants use

Sunflower: ooh

Sunflower: ooooh

Sunflower: Ooooon

Sunflower: OOOOOOOH

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: guess what

Sunflower: Is the answer John Cena?

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: yes

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: A SOLDIER, AND I STAY UNDER YOU FIGHTIN'

PLUS I'M STORMIN' ON YOU CHUMPS LIKE I'M THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

AIN'T NO WAY YOU BREAKIN' ME KID, I'M HARDER THAN NAILS

PLUS I KEEP IT ON LOCK, LIKE I'M PART OF THE JAIL

I'M SLAUGHTERING STALE, COMPETITION, I GOT THE WHOLE BLOCK WISHING

THEY COULD RUN WITH MY DIVISION BUT THEY GONE FISHING -

\- WITH NO BAIT, KID YOUR BOY HOLD WEIGHT

I GOT MY SOUL STRAIGHT, I BRUSH YOUR MOUTH LIKE COLGATE

IN ANY WEATHER I'M NEVER BETTER YOUR BOY'S SO HOT

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME IN THE NEXT MAN'S SWEATER

IF THEY HATE, LET 'EM HATE, I DROP YA WHOLE CLAN

LAY YO' ASS DOWN FOR THE THREE SECOND TAP

Sunflower: oh no

Sunflower: But what you don'y know

Sunflower: is that I AM RANDY ORTON

Sunflower: RKO OUT OF NO WHERE

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: AND CENA HITS A FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE

Sunflower: OH NOOOO

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT OFF THE TOP ROPE

Sunflower: *deded*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: cena pwnt styles a couple weeks ago though

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: aj styles

Sunflower: ["HEROES NEVER DIE" is heard in the distance]

Sunflower: I AM BACK

Sunflower: *PUNCHED CENA GETTING A KO*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *SUDDENLY AJ STYLES COMES OUT*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *THIS PLAYS*

Sunflower: OH NO

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: watch?v=fj9ala8nZ7U

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *at the breaking sound styles comes out*

Sunflower: *RUNS IN FEAR*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: I AM

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: PHENOMENAL

Sunflower: *360 JUKES ELBOW BASHES*

Sunflower: *FAILS*

Sunflower: *FALLS ON FACE*

Sunflower: *CRIES*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *REKS*

Sunflower: *TRIES NOT TO CRY*

Sunflower: *RIES A LOT

Sunflower: This conversation tho

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: I AM PHENOMENAL. NOW WHERE THE HELL IS CENA

Sunflower: *appears*

Sunflower: WADDUP

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *PHENOMENAL PLAYS LOUDER THEN MY TIME IS NOW*

Sunflower: *fires revolver into AJ Styles dick*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: SHIT

Sunflower: NICE PHENOMALSYOU GOT THERE

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *RANDY ORTON RKO OUT OF NOWHERE*

Sunflower: *blocks*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA #BEATUPJOHNCENA

Sunflower: *choke holds*

Sunflower: *pile drives*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: #BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA#BEATUPJOHNCENA

Sunflower: DE_STROYED

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: NOICE ONE BUT YOU SHOT ME IN THE BALLS

Sunflower: Yes

Sunflower: No more styling

Sunflower: No more pile driving

Sunflower: no more

Sunflower: no

Sunflower: more

Sunflower: n

Sunflower: o

Sunflower: m

Sunflower: o

Sunflower: r

Sunflower: e

Sunflower: rekt

Sunflower: r

Sunflower: e

Sunflower: k

Sunflower: t

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: guess what

Sunflower: shit

Sunflower: h

Sunflower: i

Sunflower: t

Sunflower: RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WUU KURAU

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: watch?v=LSIn39JMtfA

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: flower

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: will

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: rrekt

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: u

Sunflower: You play overwatch m80

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: no it was overhyped its just a reskin of tf2 m249

Sunflower: *watches titles and knows why you sent it to me*

Sunflower: TRIGGERED

Sunflower: No it isn't

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: either way it was way fucking overhyped

Sunflower: Not for m

Sunflower: I love it :3

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: i will bamb00zle you

Sunflower: I love the sweet asses the characters got

Sunflower: Kappa

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: LITTLE DID YOU KNOW I'M THE UNDERTAKER

Sunflower: OH NO

Sunflower: SHITSHITSHIT

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: JK IM DARTH VADER

Sunflower: JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

Sunflower: *barrage o rockets fly*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *REFLECTS THEM WITH LIGHTSABER*

Sunflower: *dies*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *BECOMES JOHN CENA*

Sunflower: ["HEROES NEVER DIE" is heard in the distance once more]

Sunflower: *takes out rocket launcher*

Sunflower: EAT SHIT

Sunflower: *ires rocket*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *CATCHES THE ROCKET*

Sunflower: :O

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: MY TIME IS NOW

Sunflower: DON'T

Sunflower: PLEASE

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *THROWS THE ROCKET AT THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE*

Sunflower: *takes out Particle Cannon*

Sunflower: *fires blackhole*

Sunflower: AGUN TAVA GONVONSTIN

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *BEATS UP THE BLACK HOLE*

Sunflower: U WOT M8

Sunflower: U FOKIN WOT

Sunflower: *becomes tank

Sunflower: *fires explosive bullets and normal bullets

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *THROWS THE EXPLOSIVE BULLETS AT THE WALL AND ABSORBS THE NORMAL BULLETS*

Sunflower: :O

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: MY TIME IS NOW

Sunflower: *becomes nuke*

Sunflower: SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ATIVATED

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *PICKS YOU UP*

Sunflower: *blows up*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *NOT AFFECTED* YOUR TIME IS UP MY TIME IS NOW

Sunflower: *dead*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: Vince McMahon: AND JOHN CENA WINS THE MATCH [crowd cheers]

Sunflower: [In the distance a screaming "HEROES NEVER DIE" is heard in teh distance as the reviver is burning from nuke]

Sunflower: *panting*

Sunflower: "What can't kill you?

Sunflower: No he hasn't won

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: EVERYTHING

Sunflower: I am still in this

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: I AM JOHN CENA

Sunflower: *panting*

Sunflower: *out of breath*

Sunflower: Now

Sunflower: You leave me no choice

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *picks up the ring*

Sunflower: *gets picked up" woah

Sunflower: *grabs bow*\

Sunflower: *jumps off ring*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: MY TIME IS NOW *begins rapidly spinning the ring*

Sunflower: *shouts* "RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WU KURAU"

Sunflower: *Two dragons are fired from the arrow and launch towards cena

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *kicks the first dragon in the face and hits it with the second one*

Sunflower: I am doing this in 4 in the fucking morning btw

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: same

Sunflower: ayy Central time zone

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: woooo cdt

Sunflower: State?

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: iowa

Sunflower: Louisiana

Sunflower: Shittiest state

Sunflower: :)

Sunflower: Except Wyoming

Sunflower: Fuck wyoming

Sunflower: Back to the stupid shit

Sunflower: *stares amazed*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: NOTHING PHASES ME

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: I AM THE CENA

Sunflower: *pulls gun out*

Sunflower: *points towards head*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *kicks in the balls*

Sunflower: *applies to head and squeeze

Sunflower: *dead*

Sunflower: *like legit for real dead*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: Vince McMahon: anyone else?

Sunflower: *ANOTHER JOHN CENA APPEARS*

Sunflower: *YOU SEE ME

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: OH SHIT

Sunflower: YOU CAN'T SEE ME

Sunflower: *PUNCHES*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: FUCK

Sunflower: *PUNCHES AGAIN

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE*

Sunflower: *Becomes Super-Cena*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: THIS IS LIKE UNSTOPPABLE FORCE MEETS IMMOVABLE OBJECT

Sunflower: YOU CAN'T SEE ME

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *BECOMES HYPER CENA* OH YES I CAN *FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE*

Sunflower: *Grows to enormoue size*

Sunflower: *Punches the gorund, creating massive earthwuake*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *VINCE MCMAHON BECOMES MARS*

Sunflower: *You were dierectly int eh fist

Sunflower: *You are flattened

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *STILL ALIVE WHILE FLATTENED*

Sunflower: "SUPER CENA TRIUMPHS

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: I WILL GIVE YOU A PAPER CUT

Sunflower: WHAT

Sunflower: BI

Sunflower: NO

Sunflower: PLEASE

Sunflower: *Kicks*

Sunflower: U WOT M8

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *slashes at foot with paper thin fist*

Sunflower: YOU GON DO WOT

Sunflower: *Becomes normal Cena*

Sunflower: JOKES ON YOU I AM A MOP HANDLE!

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *becomes also normal cena* 1v1 ME MATE

Sunflower: *Becomes mop*

Sunflower: YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME THE MOP

Sunflower: BECAUSE I CLEAN UP TRASH LIKE YOU

Sunflower: *crows cheers*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT*

Sunflower: CALL ME BP, BECAUSE I JUST SPILLED YOUR SPAGHETTI

Sunflower: GET IT

Sunflower: BP OIL SPILL

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: HAHAHA

Sunflower: *cooks spaghetti*

Sunflower: *hands it to original cena*

Sunflower: *original cena eats it

Sunflower: *becomes spaghetti*

Sunflower: *cena eats me*

Sunflower: *becomes normal cena inside of cena*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: OH SHIT

Sunflower: *kills cena*

Sunflower: *bursts out of cena/

Sunflower: MY TIME IS NOW

Sunflower: DO DODO DOOOO

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *PHENOMENAL PLAYS AS AJ STYLES COMES OUT OF NOWHERE*

Sunflower: DO DODO DOOOOO

Sunflower: U WOT

Sunflower: *EATS AJ STYLES*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: FUCK

Sunflower: *BECOMES AJ STYLES

Sunflower: u wot m8

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: #BEATUPJOHNCENA *MULTIPLE AJ STYLES CLONES APPEAR AND BEAT UP STYLES-IFIED CENA*

Sunflower: *is being beat senseless when suddenly..*

Sunflower: *BECOMES SUPER SIZED DONALD TRUMPS HAIR

Sunflower: *DEVOURS THE UNIVERSE*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: EVERYONE SCRAM

Sunflower: NOM

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sunflower: *brups*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: Vince McMahon: AND DONALD TRUMP'S HAIR WINS! crowd boos

Sunflower: XD

Sunflower: *becomes chocolate bar*

Sunflower: *eats self*

Sunflower: *creates black hole*

Sunflower: *everything is dead

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *BECOMES LARGE HADRON COLIDER*

Sunflower: U WOT

Sunflower: NO

Sunflower: DON'T DO IT

Sunflower: DON'T

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: ILL DO IT

Sunflower: DON'T

Sunflower: *BECOMES HACKER

Sunflower: *HACKS HADRON COLLIDER

Sunflower: *HADRON COLLIDER DISABLED*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *BECOMES A 3-HEADED GOAT*

Sunflower: GET REKT M80

Sunflower: wait

Sunflower: woah

Sunflower: a goat

Sunflower: i am scared

Sunflower: *becomes snek*

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: *BECOMES JOHN CENA WITH 3 HEADS AND ALL THE HEADS SCREAM SIMOLTANEOUSLY* MY TIME IS NOW

Sunflower: *boops goat

Sunflower: *snek is scared*

Sunflower: *snek disconnects from server

Sunflower: The End

I AM THE POOTIS MAN: [All] Cenation: rekt noob

Sunflower: I don't know what just happened

Sunflower: But it was majestic

Sunflower: I am saving this chat

Sunflower: and never deleting it


End file.
